Let me ask you a question. Do you feel as if you’re at the mercy of everyone else’s calendar? Are you constantly telling yourself that you’ll work on your book later after you attend to everyone else’s needs? It’s easy to believe that you don’t have a lot of control over your book writing process, but it’s that very belief that often causes you to concede even more control over your book writing process. In today’s episode, we’re going to focus on permission seeking and book writing. I’m going to explain why you are willing to put your book on the back burner so often and steps you could take to make sure that you actually prioritize writing the book that’s going to earn you tenure. This is going to require some practical steps and a mindset shift, so let’s get into it. Writing an academic book is challenging, but it doesn’t have to feel like torture. Join me, Jane Joanne Jones, writing coach and developmental editor to women and non-binary scholars in academia, as I teach you how to write your academic book with ease, clarity, and purpose. Let’s bend the rules, expose the hidden curriculum, and write your book the right way, your way.

Academics, especially those socialized as women are used to permission seeking and putting other people’s needs before their own. We have the data, both anecdotal and peer reviewed, that women shoulder a higher service burden. They end up doing jobs and tasks that often are not related to their tenure dossier and won’t even help them get promoted. I’m sure you’ve been there. Think about the following scenarios. You thought you’d have a semester where you can give some time to your book, but you ended up joining a committee because in your estimation, nobody else would do it. A co-author sends you a draft and you drop everything to meet a deadline they give you. Or, a student asks for a meeting and you give them time on your calendar that was intended for book writing. All the while, you’re not giving time to yourself to get work done.

The way that this shows up in project management is by deprioritizing your book writing. When you allow everyone else to take up your time, you’re essentially waiting to write until you have permission. Now, you might think you’re doing this so you can be a good member of your community, but people who are truly in community with each other respect each other’s time. Now, let’s be clear. Nobody is ever going to show up at your office door and say, you know what you should do right now? Go and work on your book. It’s just not going to happen, and it’s not necessarily because people are selfish or because they’re trying to take advantage of you. Instead, it’s because they don’t know. They don’t know what you need to be doing with your time. They don’t know that you want to have a book proposal done before your annual conference so that you could talk to acquisitions editors.

They don’t know that you have to complete a book chapter draft before your third year review, yet, even though they have no idea what you’re up to, you’re still implicitly waiting for them to give you permission to work on your book. So what should you do instead? Here are three steps that I want you to take. Number one, decide in advance when you’re going to work on your book. Put the time on your calendar as an appointment when you have the time on your calendar and mark yourself as busy, you are more likely to protect that time. Number two, establish your non-negotiables. An example would be, I have to work on my book for five hours a week. And number three, be willing to say no, or at the very least, not now to requests for your time. When you do the two earlier steps of deciding in advance when you’re going to work on your book and establishing your non-negotiables first, this third step will be easier.

It’ll be easier to say no because you’ll have a specific reason why you’re saying, no. Now, I understand why you might be hesitant to do this. You’re afraid. You’re afraid someone will be mad at you. You’re afraid you’ll let someone down or that you’ll be a bad member of your community. I hear this a lot, especially in regard to mentoring. You believe that your grad students need you, that your undergraduates need you, and that it’s your job to be there for them at the exact moment that they decide they need you. You might also be afraid of feeling discomfort about being disagreeable, that you’re not being a team player, and that could make you feel bad. You might feel guilty, you might feel like you’re letting people down because you’re not there for them when they’re asking for your time.

Now, I’m not going to sugarcoat it. All of these things are possible. It is possible that someone will be upset. It is possible that a grad student or an undergrad will feel like you’re not meeting their need in the moment, and you might feel bad, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t say no. So when you’re feeling resistance, here’s what I want you to do. First, remind yourself of how important it is for your career that you write your book. In order for you to be a good member of a community, you have to remain in that community, which means that you need to write your book to ensure tenure and job security. Second, remind yourself that you cannot control how other people react when you say no. You can’t control how other people react no matter what you do. Their reaction is their reaction, and it is not something that you can manage through your actions. Finally, learn how to be okay with people being disappointed with you or disappointed about the situation.

This is different than not caring. Instead, it’s realizing that it’s impossible to please everyone all of the time, and it’s not your responsibility to do so. In summary, you have to give yourself permission to work on your book instead of waiting for someone else to give it to you. If you want to complete writing your book, you’re going to have to claim your time. Thank you so much for listening to today’s episode. If you like what you heard, please share the podcast with a friend. Or if you’re an Apple listener, leave a review. It helps other folks find the podcast so we can continue the conversation and make sure that when it’s time to write your book, you could do it on your terms your way.